Saturday, August 7, 2010

What shall I fear?

Life is neither what we see on the Hallmark Presentations, nor can problems or concerns be reconciled in a 30-60 minute program. Life is...well, it is life.

Our granddaughter, Mazie has been struggling with health issues since before she was born. Recently, it is with her kidney/bladder and some neurological (spinal cord) problems. Yesterday, Mazie was put into the hospital again. Betsy writes a blog and she has some information about some of the specifics (www.tengesdal4.blogspot.com). This morning, again very early, I was awakened to blog about what is happening in my life...however... This is not about Mazie. It's not about Betsy and Jon or Simon. It's not about me. It's about God's voice heard clearly through a friend.

I had been helping with a conference at our church for the last 2 days. Mazie's "big" appointment was on Friday morning. Before the conference began yesterday, Betsy called with the results from their appointment to the neurosurgeon. It has seemed like it has been a long time coming and the results, although not what you would want for your little granddaughter, were promising. Then, Betsy texted me later in the day that they were putting Mazie in the hospital. Again.

My role in the conference was to keep the volunteers "happy"! When I heard the news, I began to cry. I left the room but was soon surrounded by people who loved me and were trying to encourage me. Everything they said, I knew to be true!

Mazie had amazing doctors who were not content until they had found out what the problem was instead of treating the symptoms and reporting that...it's just Mazie.
Thankfully, she was in the hospital where she would be getting help.
Mazie was in God's hands and even though she was not in MY sight...she was in HIS sight.
Even if I was in Omaha, I couldn't do anything more.
God loves Mazie.
He is her protector.

See I knew all that yet, the tears kept falling. So, I decided to spend a little time in the Word. When I can't even think of where to go...I run to the Psalms. And in times of emergency, I run to the 911 of Psalms. So, off to Psalm 91:1 I went.

"Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the almighty. This I declare of the Lord, He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, and I am trusting in Him..."

I have read those words over and over but the Bible on my phone is in a different translation (Living Translation) and I read them again, with the fresh breeze of the Holy Spirit surrounding me.

Now, this would be the time that I SHOULD be saying, After reading these words, my heart was at peace and I was able to praise Him. Should have, but probably wouldn't be up in the middle of the night. My tears continued to fall. I read the rest of the psalm (you really need to read it...no really, you really need to!) My eyes kept going back to those first two verses. I was still crying. Then a friend came out of the building and stopped to talk to me. She comforted me, encouraged me, and then allowed God to speak through her. She said, "Linda, what are you afraid of?" PAUSE...then... "Linda, what do you fear?" The tears STOPPED! This question was not from my friend standing in front of me...this question was asked of my Savior....What did I fear?
I could tell you all of my concerns. I hated being so far away. I didn't like hearing all of the outcomes and realizing what Maz would have to go through. I hurt that our daughter and family had to have the medical problems. mmmmmm....what did I FEAR?

My desire in my walk with God has always been to encourage others that there is nothing that they have to fear in any situation. In everyday and extraordinary situations, I have chosen to see all of the fingerprints of God in my life and to declare them to others.

What did I have to fear? Has my Savior changed? Is He still a refuge in times of trouble? Was this hospitalization a surprise to Him? Did He blink and now His eyes were not on Mazie and her family? Had He failed me in this day? No! No! No! He is and will always be my shelter from the storms of life. He knows what is happening and is orchestrating His creation. I have no input in His amazing creation around me. I am not instrumental in anything that He does. Without me He continues to be. What do I fear? It is in Him I place my trust and in Him I find refuge and because of Him I can praise Him for His amazing, awesome love and care that He has for me. Yesterday, I heard His voice loud and clear! Not from a burning bush or after a howling storm but in the quiet voice of a dear friend. How I praise Him for using her to speak His words to me.

And now I can say...I have nothing to fear for I have a God who desires me to run to Him and He will protect me and the ones that I love. He is my shelter in the times of storm and there is no other place that I desire to find refuge. Praise Him.

Father, thank you that in every situation in our lives, we can trust in you. Keep our eyes focused on you and not the situations that surround us. Thank you that we can run to you and find refuge from the storms. Thank you for the protection you give us and the desire you have to be present in every moment of our lives. Thank you that nothing that happens in our day is a surprise to you. Thank you for loving us so much that you sent your son to be a living example of your love and care. Father, praise you for using others to speak to us, help us be sensitive to your leading and in tuned to hearing your voice. Father...praise you that we (I) have nothing to fear. In your precious name, AMEN.

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