Memories that just pop up and surprise you....

Yesterday our pastor challenged up to read the four gospels to be completed on Good Friday. This morning Steve and I began our reading when all of a sudden I had a complete "mental video" that was playing in my mind. [I was still listening...promise]

As we began in Matthew I was transported back to the 3rd grade. You see in our church ALL 3rd graders were given a Bible from the church. We were told by the pastor that if we "wore" out our Bible because of lots of use, we would get a new Bible. I was determined to get a new Bible. Yep, as I walked back to my seat carrying my brand new Bible, I was already plotting how I could get a new one!!!

It was a book so you always begin at the beginning...Genesis. It didn't take too many chapters before I realized that I shouldn't have started there. It just plain confused me. So, I knew that there was the Old and the New Testament and if I couldn't read the Old Testament, surely the New Testament would be better. I started in Matthew...I underlined every verse I read. Yep! Every VERSE! Remember, I had a plan and I had to make this Bible look used before I would get the new one.

I made it through Matthew...started with Mark and thought...I just read this...so I skipped that book, but NOT until I had marked random passages.

Luke...hmmmmm....this is the same story too!!!! [I wasn't a Bible scholar believe me. Obviously, I didn't get the 4 Gospels]. I skipped to John and thought--Man, this is the same thing over and over! I quit reading the Bible and NEVER wore out that Bible. [I did find underlining in Acts so I must have tried that book out too or else just continued my underlining.]

When I first became a believer I already knew the whole Bible trap so I started reading in 1 Corinthians. I remember being shocked because it wasn't the same. It was filled with practical daily living skills!!!! Since that time, my Bibles have seen some really tough use but now all of the notes and underlines are treasures and part of my life. I would not want to trade in my Bible because I would miss the verses that have my girls' name written beside a verse...or a prayer written for our grandchildren with a date. Sometimes it is more cryptic..."Yes" and the date or just the date. Instead of reading to wear out the Bible to get a new one, when I come to a place where there is a notation...I wonder at the faithfulness of God throughout our lives! Promises from Him; praises to Him; and prayers that He had answered.

It always amazes me when memories just pop up triggered by some random thought. I think that's why I like memories! They are random and unexpected and some can bring a smile to my face and in my mind. In this case, my outlook on a new Bible has changed...which is good that the little 3rd grader with a plan has grown up...

Reassurance when you need it....

It seems that I go through seasons of questions and wonder if we really were supposed to move here. I can even tell you the triggers...Betsy, Simon, Mazie, Jane, Emma, Jon, and Andy (in no particular order!) I get so lonely at times and my arms aches just to hold them. When we first moved out here, it seemed like God confirmed so many times that this is where He wanted us. Each time I questioned...or wondered...or fretted...or cried...He would show me that day that this is where He wanted us. It may be a ministry opportunity. It may have been a friend who called to encourage me. It came from our family and the encouragement that they have given us...

I do know that He desired us to move MILES away from family and friends and He assures me that this is where He wants us. But every once in a while, He knows me well enough to reassure me that His plan is perfect.

You see, each day I get a picture of Emma, our new granddaughter. Jane sometimes records sounds with the picture of Emma cooing, laughing, or....yes, she did send one of Emma pooping...what can I say...I am one of THOSE grandparents! Emma is changing and developing daily.. The other day she asked if I could babysit while they went somewhere...

Then there is Betsy, Simon, and Mazie...Monday Simon was sent home from school and after a trip to the doctor was diagnosed with influenza...I just want to see him. Mazie went to dance class, I want to watch her at Dance Dance Revolution! Simon is teaching Mazie to read... So...

I was feeling it again...what am I doing here? I listen to grandparents out here who see their grandchildren weekly, daily, or only on the weekends and my heart longs for that.

But God!!!!! Have you ever noticed how many times that phrase pops up in the Bible...The people of Israel didn't listen, but God.... I had that kind of a moment yesterday. I was doing my lesson in Isaiah for Bible Study Fellowship. Many times in my Bible I have notes...some I remember what I was going through...others, just notes and dates that I was struggling with something and that particular verse meant something to me on that day. Yesterday, beside Isaiah 48:17 I had written: 10/26/04 moving? At that point in the moving process, we didn't have any idea that there would be a job opening in Ferndale, WA. The job Steve applied for was no longer available. I must have realized that moving may become a reality and I needed to really wrap my head around leaving my home of 54 years and strike out leaving family and friends behind. This is the verse:

This is what the Lord says--

Your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:

I am the Lord your God,

who teaches you what is best for you,

who directs you in the way you should go.

~Isaiah 48:17

On October 31, 2004 Steve was asked to come out to Ferndale and interview for this job. And the rest is history...

Before He called us to this new place, He had in mind what direction He wanted us to go. Before we received the call to come out here...He was preparing my heart. Does it make it any easier during times when the ache of my heart is painfully present? In some regards, yes because I know that my God, the Holy One of Israel, my redeemer, knows what is best for me.

Do I see reasons why we are here?

Sometimes I do see clearly...

I can provide a meal and babysit for a mom who is expecting any day and doesn't have family in the area...

I can mentor moms who are going through those preschool years and need encouragement...

I can be an encouragement to a friend who is having a very tough transition in her job...

I can study His Word at ACTS Seminary...

I have been able to speak truth in the lives of those around me...

I can know that He is directing my path...

God, thank you for binding my heart when I cry out to you because I cannot be with my children. Thank you for caring for my family and keeping your arms securely wrapped around them when I cannot be with them.

Thank you for bringing Steve and I to a place that you have called us...

Jesus, help me to be one who listens to your voice.