Realization...confession...Grace...Amazing Grace

REALIZATION:

Sunday morning: When I was getting ready for the usher/greeter team that I co-lead, I realized that for the last several weeks, I was choosing the opening scripture on Sunday morning instead of taking it from a scripture that had encouraged me during my quiet time...I didn't have to wonder why...I knew...I had not had a quiet time for a long time.

I then realized that throughout this past week, God had whispered to me to come His Word. He created a longing to draw me near to Him. I knew that He was calling but I did NOT respond to His gentle nudge. I ignored the Creator of the Universe.

Instead of responding, what did I fill my time with? Oh very important things! Let's see... I read 2 other books. I sewed. I went to the gym a few times. I sat. Yep, I just sat. I directed my thoughts to my life. Centered directly on ME!

CONFESSION:

As I was sitting there yesterday the realization washed over me of what I had done and how I had treated my Savior, I humbly bowed and asked Him to forgive me. Forgive me for being so self-directed. Forgive me for wasting the time He had given me. But most of all, forgive me for not responding to Him.

God reminded me of a man that He called "a man after God's own heart." A man who had succumbed to temptation, committed adultery, and instigated the death of this married woman's husband; yet he was called "a man after God's own heart." God reminded me of David. I went to Psalm 51 which was written as a confession when David recognized his need for God's grace. It begins:

Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me from my guilt. Purify me from my sin....Against you and you alone have I sinned...

GRACE:

Grace...that is what I received. If someone had ignored me and refused to respond to my calls, I have to say that I would have been really ticked. I would have complained. What I received from God for ignoring Him was forgiveness and grace.

But you desire honesty from the heart, so you can teach me to be wise in my inmost being. Purify me from my sins and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow...Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me...

Amazing Grace:
I think that is what I find so attractive about the God that I love. He can take what is unlovely and unworthy and clean it up and declare that person: A man after God's own heart. David was a man after God's own heart...Perfection? No, that wasn't David. Honest? Yep! David was honest with God.

Last night I prayed as I closed my eyes...Father wake me so we can have time together. Today, at 5:30 am He gently moved me from my bed to come before Him. I had no lightening bolts or great insights. I didn't have a vision or hear Him speak audibly. I really didn't read anything that was earth shattering in His Word (I am in Leviticus trying to read through the Bible...something I have never done). What I felt was a peace and a joy of being obedient. Oh, how I wish that this would be the turning point for me. That I would never again push Him away or disappoint Him. I will. I know it and so does He. But what I also know...when I come to him with a broken and contrite spirit, He will give me GRACE. Amazing Grace!