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"We know that God is everywhere; but certainly we feel His presence most when His works are on the grandest scale spread before us; and it is is the unclouded night-sky, where His worlds wheel their silent course, that we read clearest His infinitude, His omnipotence, His omnipresence. ...Looking up, I, with tear-dimmed eyes, saw the might Milky-way. Remembering what it was--what countless systems there swept space like a soft trace of light--I felt the might and strength of God. Sure was I of His efficiency to save what He had made: convinced I grew that neither earth should perish, nor one of the souls it treasured. I turned my prayer to thanksgiving: the Source of Life was also the Saviour of spirits."

Jane Eyre

Then go on to Isaiah who spoke of God using earth as His footstool...How great is our God...He is so inconceivable that our words fail us. Celebrate His love for you and for those whom you love. Praise you Jesus.

Memories that just pop up and surprise you....

Yesterday our pastor challenged up to read the four gospels to be completed on Good Friday. This morning Steve and I began our reading when all of a sudden I had a complete "mental video" that was playing in my mind. [I was still listening...promise]

As we began in Matthew I was transported back to the 3rd grade. You see in our church ALL 3rd graders were given a Bible from the church. We were told by the pastor that if we "wore" out our Bible because of lots of use, we would get a new Bible. I was determined to get a new Bible. Yep, as I walked back to my seat carrying my brand new Bible, I was already plotting how I could get a new one!!!

It was a book so you always begin at the beginning...Genesis. It didn't take too many chapters before I realized that I shouldn't have started there. It just plain confused me. So, I knew that there was the Old and the New Testament and if I couldn't read the Old Testament, surely the New Testament would be better. I started in Matthew...I underlined every verse I read. Yep! Every VERSE! Remember, I had a plan and I had to make this Bible look used before I would get the new one.

I made it through Matthew...started with Mark and thought...I just read this...so I skipped that book, but NOT until I had marked random passages.

Luke...hmmmmm....this is the same story too!!!! [I wasn't a Bible scholar believe me. Obviously, I didn't get the 4 Gospels]. I skipped to John and thought--Man, this is the same thing over and over! I quit reading the Bible and NEVER wore out that Bible. [I did find underlining in Acts so I must have tried that book out too or else just continued my underlining.]

When I first became a believer I already knew the whole Bible trap so I started reading in 1 Corinthians. I remember being shocked because it wasn't the same. It was filled with practical daily living skills!!!! Since that time, my Bibles have seen some really tough use but now all of the notes and underlines are treasures and part of my life. I would not want to trade in my Bible because I would miss the verses that have my girls' name written beside a verse...or a prayer written for our grandchildren with a date. Sometimes it is more cryptic..."Yes" and the date or just the date. Instead of reading to wear out the Bible to get a new one, when I come to a place where there is a notation...I wonder at the faithfulness of God throughout our lives! Promises from Him; praises to Him; and prayers that He had answered.

It always amazes me when memories just pop up triggered by some random thought. I think that's why I like memories! They are random and unexpected and some can bring a smile to my face and in my mind. In this case, my outlook on a new Bible has changed...which is good that the little 3rd grader with a plan has grown up...

Reassurance when you need it....

It seems that I go through seasons of questions and wonder if we really were supposed to move here. I can even tell you the triggers...Betsy, Simon, Mazie, Jane, Emma, Jon, and Andy (in no particular order!) I get so lonely at times and my arms aches just to hold them. When we first moved out here, it seemed like God confirmed so many times that this is where He wanted us. Each time I questioned...or wondered...or fretted...or cried...He would show me that day that this is where He wanted us. It may be a ministry opportunity. It may have been a friend who called to encourage me. It came from our family and the encouragement that they have given us...

I do know that He desired us to move MILES away from family and friends and He assures me that this is where He wants us. But every once in a while, He knows me well enough to reassure me that His plan is perfect.

You see, each day I get a picture of Emma, our new granddaughter. Jane sometimes records sounds with the picture of Emma cooing, laughing, or....yes, she did send one of Emma pooping...what can I say...I am one of THOSE grandparents! Emma is changing and developing daily.. The other day she asked if I could babysit while they went somewhere...

Then there is Betsy, Simon, and Mazie...Monday Simon was sent home from school and after a trip to the doctor was diagnosed with influenza...I just want to see him. Mazie went to dance class, I want to watch her at Dance Dance Revolution! Simon is teaching Mazie to read... So...

I was feeling it again...what am I doing here? I listen to grandparents out here who see their grandchildren weekly, daily, or only on the weekends and my heart longs for that.

But God!!!!! Have you ever noticed how many times that phrase pops up in the Bible...The people of Israel didn't listen, but God.... I had that kind of a moment yesterday. I was doing my lesson in Isaiah for Bible Study Fellowship. Many times in my Bible I have notes...some I remember what I was going through...others, just notes and dates that I was struggling with something and that particular verse meant something to me on that day. Yesterday, beside Isaiah 48:17 I had written: 10/26/04 moving? At that point in the moving process, we didn't have any idea that there would be a job opening in Ferndale, WA. The job Steve applied for was no longer available. I must have realized that moving may become a reality and I needed to really wrap my head around leaving my home of 54 years and strike out leaving family and friends behind. This is the verse:

This is what the Lord says--

Your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:

I am the Lord your God,

who teaches you what is best for you,

who directs you in the way you should go.

~Isaiah 48:17

On October 31, 2004 Steve was asked to come out to Ferndale and interview for this job. And the rest is history...

Before He called us to this new place, He had in mind what direction He wanted us to go. Before we received the call to come out here...He was preparing my heart. Does it make it any easier during times when the ache of my heart is painfully present? In some regards, yes because I know that my God, the Holy One of Israel, my redeemer, knows what is best for me.

Do I see reasons why we are here?

Sometimes I do see clearly...

I can provide a meal and babysit for a mom who is expecting any day and doesn't have family in the area...

I can mentor moms who are going through those preschool years and need encouragement...

I can be an encouragement to a friend who is having a very tough transition in her job...

I can study His Word at ACTS Seminary...

I have been able to speak truth in the lives of those around me...

I can know that He is directing my path...

God, thank you for binding my heart when I cry out to you because I cannot be with my children. Thank you for caring for my family and keeping your arms securely wrapped around them when I cannot be with them.

Thank you for bringing Steve and I to a place that you have called us...

Jesus, help me to be one who listens to your voice.

Christmas was a little different this year...

I made the mistake of saying to our girls that this Christmas would have been the 2nd one in my life without family, and Betsy asked how Steve felt, after 36 years, he wasn't family...

So, we didn't have any others in our house. Last year our home was bursting with family and friends so I was anticipating a quiet time.

In many ways it was quiet. In some ways I liked it. I wasn't planning so much that the season slipped by with no reflection of the what this birth of the Christ child meant in my life. Quiet reflection was very much a part of my Christmas season.

On Christmas Eve, Steve and I had friends over for brunch. Usually our Christmas Eve brunch is leisurely and our guests love staying...we knew in advance that it would be a morning brunch. They came at 9 am and Barb had to work at 11 and we had to be at church by 12 so by 10:50 after several attempts at a timer shot picture, they left and we went to church.

I helped out with the greeter/usher team for the 1 and 3 services and missed the service completely. Right after the service we headed to Bellevue for the Snowflake Lane lights and drum-line. There were all kinds of characters walking the streets before the drum line took their positions next to the decorations on the street and put on a show. There was music and then at one point, snow started falling...not real snow...soap bubbles that made it look like we were standing in a heavy, Christmas-like, White Christmasy snow. It was so pretty.

A leisurely dinner outside on the patio of the Cheese Cake Factory.

I had heard that the Bellevue Botanical Gardens had a light display so after dinner, we went to the Botanical Gardens. The lights were so beautiful. They were in the shape of all kinds of vegetation and creatures.

The aquarium was amazing...

We drove home after our adventure and decided to open our gifts in the morning.

Christmas morning was relaxing and a time for coffee and quiet. At 3:00 we had friends who were also alone for Christmas day over and we began a progressive dinner at our house with appetizers and onion soup. After that, we had dinner at another couple's home and then progressed to our final sugar destination.

We missed our kids and our grandkids very much. But the days were quiet and our activities were new. However, in talking to Jane over the past days...they are thinking that they will be out here for Christmas next year...Once in a while it's okay for just a small portion of our family, but I do love being with our girls and their families.

What ever you did, I pray that you allowed yourself a time of quiet reflection of what the celebration of the Christ child means to you and what this birth meant to the world and the changes that have been made because of His coming. God bless us everyone....

Merry Christmas...Christmas Eve Very Early

It's Christmas eve...

It is very early...

Today will bring so many "things" that will demand our attentions...

At least that is what will happen in my life!

I could tick off the list right now...

But...

Right now, I want to pause and worship!

Today is the beginning of our remembrance of the birth of Christ.

Born in that lowly manger, the baby, Jesus, was totally reliant on his mother.

I think of our granddaughter, Emma, right now. She can't do anything without the help from Jane and Andy (and anyone who can get their hands on her*.)

She is helpless. I think of her and realize that my Savior was that reliant on Mary and Joseph.

He needed Mary's nurturing. He needed the strength taught to him by his earthly father Joseph.

But think...He was God...He is God...He will always be God.

He submitted himself to the will of His Father to come to earth.

He went through all of the feelings and emotions as we have had or will have.

As He grew...what must His life have been like.

Did He break His foot like Simon did?

Did He love to dance like Mazie?

Did He spin stories like Jane?

Was He serious and compliant like Betsy?

Did He preach when He was 3 like Steve did?

Was He belligerent like me?

The questions could go on and on...and yet, in the very early hours of Christmas Eve, 2010, I like to think...He did...why?

I know that whatever I bring to Him in the form of prayer requests, struggles, and praises He can and does struggle, cry, and laugh with me.

There is nothing that I go through, save sin, that He doesn't understand.

But back to the stable...

Back to the smelly animals...

Back to the noises of the city and the barn...

Back to the fears of a teenage mother...

Back to the the city of Bethlehem...

Jesus is born!

Stop and reflect on what that means to you on this day!

Merry Christmas

*I would love to get my hands on her!

Christmas ponderings....

This morning I was looking for something to read to the usher/greeter team. I was drawn to Isaiah 9:

For a child is born to us,

a son is given to us.

The government will rest upon His shoulders.

And he will be called:

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

His government and his peace

will never end

He will rule with fairness and justice from the throne of his ancestor David

for all eternity.

Then I picked up one of our favorite family books The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. I read the last chapter...the one where the Herdmans "disrupt" the church's Christmas program. Emogene and Ralph who are playing Mary and Joseph look like refugees. Emogene has the nerve to burp the baby before she put him in the manger and was carrying him on her shoulder instead of cradling the Baby Jesus in her arms.

(If you haven't read this book...it is a must read...even if you are an adult...)

It got me thinking! The Prince of Peace and Everlasting Father; the One who will rule to the end of the age and for eternity...born in a smelly stable. Our Christmas cards that we send have beautiful pictures of Mary, with a holy light shining around her. The animals are around the stable and are wearing Christmas holly and are being attentive to the new born baby. What we don't see or smell is what the stable was really like.

A teenage girl and her husband had just traveled to Bethlehem. The probably did look like refugees. The starched and light blue gown pictured on our cards was most likely a dirty, dusty travel dress. She was tired and in pain. They must have felt lost and unloved because there was no other place for them to stay in the city.

Do you think she was questioning God? An angel had come months earlier...she was chosen to give birth to the Messiah. She was in labor. She was in a barn. A smelly barn surrounded by smelly, dirty animals. When her baby was born, did she wonder where she would put him? in the food trough? Did she wish she had somewhere else to place the King of Kings and Lord of Lords? What were the thoughts that she had pondered in her heart when the shepherds came to worship Jesus?

So into a smelly barn, Jesus was born. He was helpless. He was dependant on His mother for food and comfort. He needed to be burped and his swaddling clothes needed to be changed. It is this baby who became our Savior. Our picture of Christ is different than the reality; but the reality is that this Baby in the manger is our Christ.

It seems that as this week progresses...we need to remember that birth. Carve out some time this week to focus on Jesus. Let Him be the peace in your Christmas and step away from the busyness of the mall and the bustle of events and worship Him for what He has done in your life this year.

Another Christmas tradition

Every year Moles Funeral Home staff and families go to an assisted living facility to carol. We sing several songs. Sometimes the residents sing along other times they listen.

I always begin the night by telling the residents that we are NOT good. We can make great noise, but we are not professional. Steve Hortegas, our piano playing extraordinaire, reminds them that we practice once a year and that coincides with our performance.

But we have fun and so do the residents. Last night was particularly fun. We had a large crowd of residents and they loved to sing.

For the past 3 years we have had the privilege of having Santa and Mrs. Claus join us. The residents love this couple and so do we. Santa is a gentle Santa and Mrs. Claus is just so sweet. Santa comes during the singing and stays for the staff Christmas party afterwards. They donate their time playing Santa. Any money that they get, they give to the Ferndale Food Pantry.

They add so much fun to our carolling.

Last night, (and I am bummed that I don't have pictures of this) one of the staff members, Marlys, brought her Christmas hula hoop and keep that hoop moving through an entire song...I was totally impressed.

This year, we caught Mrs. Claus kissing Santa Claus outside the home in the gazebo. Santa looks quite surprised...Maybe she doesn't do that all the time like the song says....

When we moved to Ferndale, our first Christmas carolling was 12 months after we moved. I had to wonder (and Jane readily points out...) why a funeral home would sing at an assisted living. Last night I explained to the residents that it is a time that I cherish. I love this night and it has become a tradition to which I look forward.