Lemon Bear and Jane....

Once upon a time...there was a little girl named Jane who loved a special bear. Lemon Bear was given to any child who was in the hospital and Jane's sister, Betsy had been in the hospital. She got a Lemon Bear. It didn't take long before Lemon Bear became a favorite of her baby sister. Jane loved the velvety feel of the bear and by the time she was 5, Lemon Bear looked pretty sad. His legs were hanging on, he had no "feelie" on him, and his eye was gone.

Jane decided that she should ask Santa to put new clothes on LB. So she wrote the note to Santa and I began scrambling to find another Lemon Bear. I found out who donated them (a bank), went to the bank and explained why I needed a Lemon Bear, and they found one Lemon Bear and gave it to me. [Remember this bear was given away 4 years earlier so it was no small feat to find this bear.] So the switch was made. On Christmas eve, 1986, Santa "dressed" Lemon Bear and Jane was thrilled. Jane has told the story for many years...and I know that she had never thought about what the real story was!

In 1986, I put Old Lemon Bear in a box and waited. I waited. I waited. You see, I could hardly wait to give Lemon Bear to Jane when she had her first child. Well, Emma was born on October 28, 2010 so Old Lemon Bear, New Lemon Bear, and "Surprise" Lemon Bear needed to come out.

I wrapped Old Lemon Bear along with New and Surprise LB and a bear from the Build-a-Bear Workshop all traveled to North Dakota.

Jane opened the box and saw New Lemon Bear and said...oh, LB doesn't look so bad. I thought that he would look worse... Then she unwrapped Old Lemon Bear and said, oh he does look bad...he doesn't have an eye and he really doesn't have any fur does he?

It was exciting to see Jane's face. It will be a memory that I cherish. It is something that I have waited for a long time. Surprise Lemon Bear will be Emma's bear. You see, when Jane was in gymnastics and I was talking to one of the moms. I was telling her about the Lemon Bear dilemma. She said, oh, I have one at home...I'll bring it...so that is how we got a Lemon Bear for Emma.

Throughout the years I have taken these bears out of the boxes that they were stored. I prayed for the child that would bring out the bears. Emma was born 4 weeks early. She is a beautiful little girl. She now has her own Lemon Bear...wonder if this little girl will love LB as much as the little girl who fell in love with OLD LB once upon a time....

Christmas Memories....

Memories...it usually means that you look back at past events or times that cause you to remember things that can be triggered by smells, sounds, and people...for this Christmas, it will take on a bit of a different definition....

I realized yesterday that I do certain things to make memories. Some of the "memories" become traditions, other memories are a fleeting second that will stay in my memory for a long while. I love trying to make a memory of events. I want to remember the events that create that pleasant sensation that makes you smile down the road...

Christmas seems to bring out the traditions and making memories in many of us. A family moment, a time with friends, traditions that are non-negotiable, first time events that just need to be repeated... For this month, I want to talk about some of the memories that I am making...a continued tradition? I don't know...

Out of the mouths of babes...

This past week has been a roller coaster of emotions. I was set to drive to Omaha last Sunday. Because there was a storm, I left early. So Saturday, I drove to Omaha and was thrilled to see Jon, Betsy, Simon, Mazie, and the + Six that live with them. I felt great...I walked into their house and got HUGE hugs all around. We had a great couple of days and on Tuesday, Steve flew in to Omaha to join the festivities and preparation for Thanksgiving.

Situation #1:

It is a known fact that Steve is the one to prepare the turkey and the Thanksgiving feast! So, it only made sense that I would entertain Simon and Mazie on Wednesday. Simon got home from school and Simon, Mazie, and I set out for the hotel...about 10 minutes from Boys Town. I turned on Maggie, our GPS, and off we went, confident that we would have a great time in the pool. Finally, Simon said, "Nana, it feels like we are going in circles!" OK, so I felt the same way. And we WERE! After traveling in circles for over an hour, I called Betsy, frantic. She knew where I was, but the panic level didn't allow me to process what she was saying...so she asked if she could talk to Simon (5 year old grandson). She asked him is he could see the way to their church. After a minute or two, Simon made the connection and we were on our way. We got to the hotel, and when I saw the sign...this conversation occured
Me: "Nana is going to cry for a couple of minutes, but it is okay."
Simon: "Nana, there is no reason to cry; we are here. It's okay."
Mazie: "Nana, you are a genius...."

We swam then went back to Boys Town for supper.

Situation #2:

Steve was still needed for the final touches on the Thursday meal, so after supper it was decided that I would take the chiklins back to the hotel. Simon ran to his room and said he had to pack some things. He told his mom that for this trip, he needed to pack a "survival" kit. Loaded with water (2 bottles), socks, books, bandaids, wipes, and your basics for when you get lost when traveling with your Nana.

The conversation when we got to the hotel was a little different that time:

Mazie: "Nana, you made it...you are a genius."

Simon: "Mazie, Nana really isn't a genius, because genius means very smart...we can say Nana is really great."

Do you hear that sound????? It's the sound of a bubble popping.

Situation #3:

When I took the kids into the hotel after that bubble popping comment...I gathered up the things from the trunk. Thus the situation began...however, I didn't know it at that time. The next morning, we got ready to go to the pool. I asked Steve to grab my camera that could be found in my purse! Purse? Not in the room....oh, I remember...it's in the trunk. Keys? KEys? KEYs? KEYS!!!!????????? WHERE ARE THE KEYS???????? A quick search...a longer search...a frantic search.....hmmmmmmmm......PANIC!

For the next 2 days, we called a locksmith, Budget car rental several times...Let's see....Thanksgiving day....everyone was nice but dismissive and each person quoted a higher price. We opted to put it off until Friday morning. I called Budget Rental Roadside Assistance on Friday morning. Thought I would set things up and we would be on our way to Fargo.

PROBLEM: No one can get into the car in Omaha, Nebraska...car needs to be towed to Lincoln, NE. Or option #2: We can trade cars and then after they open the trunk...they will send my purse to me.

Reaction: Sobbing! I called Betsy. I called Jane. I was sobbing. Steve, Mazie, and Simon came in and Steve was concerned. Mazie came to me and hugged and patted my back and said, "It's okay, Nana. Don't cry."

Simon: "Nana, get control of yourself. Take a deep breath. In....now let it all out. Now, get control of yourself."

Yep...I am not a genius, and I need to have self control!

I love my grandchildren...they allow me to be humbled!

Thanksgiving means...

For many of us, it means the comforts of life that we experience.
We look around our thanksgiving table and we are thankful for our family and friends who surround our table...
We are thankful for being able to worship God...
We have many things that we are thankful for...but what if...

you didn't live in a safe home and were fearful of what adults in your family would do to you when they would come home high?
you didn't go to school because you were fearful of what would happen to you?
you didn't have positive friends to influence you?
your grandparents were raising you because your parents died when you were 6 because of drugs?
you were addicted to alcohol/drugs...at the age of 15?
you didn't have a family who wanted you?
you didn't have food to eat regularly?

And then, what if you were placed somewhere that you were free to:
feel safe
feel love
know that people loved you
you were able to go to school
you were able to to eat meals...with people who were encouraging you...
you were able to hear about God in this place you were placed...

Today we went to Boys Town Thanksgiving Service and we listened to students speak of what had changed in their lives since they came here. They spoke of the situations that they came from and it was moving.

God directed Father Flanagan years ago to begin a place called Boys Town to help youth in trouble! It is still a place that helps youth who are lost and searching for truth, love, and an environment to allow them to grow in a safe place and learn of God.

What am I thankful for this Thanksgiving? I am humbled by the abundant life that God has given me...and thankful that my daughter and her husband have introduced me to Boys Town. I am thankful for the girls that live in their home. I am thankful for the loving family that He has given me...

So...what are you thankful for?

Introducing...the newest member of our family

Well, I have waited long enough to try to figure out how to upload my pictures....we are so excited because:

Emma Anah

weighing in at 6# 7 oz at birth

Today weighs a whopping 5# 10 oz

18.5 inches long

born: October 28, 2010

She was early by 4 weeks and she and Jane are doing beautifully. She is a beautiful little girl which, if my pictures would cooperate, you would see that she is beautiful.

I was flying home from a visit...planning to fly at Thanksgiving when little Emma was due. I have change my flight and will be meeting this angel on November 15...am I excited...absolutely.

We are praising God for this little miracle.

Pictures will be added...I am determined!

OH Leviticus? Oh...repetitions... Oh...Grace

I am really trying to read the Bible through...Genesis to Revelation! And I really try to apply what I am reading in the Word to my life. I am S T R U G G L I N G through Leviticus right now. And when I say S T R U G G L I N G I do mean struggling. Yesterday and today, I was reading about the sexual restrictions and the punishments that accompany those acts. There are 30 verses on "forbidden sexual practices" and 27 verses for "punishment for disobedience." I thought...God, you couldn't just say....don't do anything but...if you do you are going to get punished? 1 maybe 2 verses and it would be taken care of.

Then, I smiled! You see, I thought of this sweet little girl when she was 2 and 3. Jane LOVED to write. She wrote and wrote....the problem, she didn't use paper! So, she began her writing career on a quilt that I made for her bed. I put the brand-new-just-sewed quilt on her bed and went out to the kitchen for a MINUTE; when came back into her bedroom...she had written on the quilt with a magic marker. I said (rather loudly and firmly) "you don't write on the bed, you only write on paper!" DONE. She was a smart little girl and she knew I meant it.

Then days or weeks later, she wrote on the wall in the kitchen. Crayons this time. AHHHHH...I knew that this was a teachable moment...SHE had to scrub the wall with a toothbrush and toothpaste....and the same admonition: you don't write on the walls, you only write on paper. DONE! She would remember THIS lesson because the wall was bathed with salt water tears, too!

Several weeks later, the kitchen floor needed to be scrubbed with a toothbrush and toothpaste by the same, smart little girl with the same admonition....

And then the straw that broke the camel's back or maybe it was a particularly tough day...I don't remember...but I came into the kitchen and right on the dishwasher...my sweet and smart little girl had written on the dishwasher. (These were just the large art pieces that she did, we had to have many talks about the books that she destroyed with her "writing," much to the disgust and shock of her older sister, Betsy who NEVER wrote on anything but paper. See note below)

I took that sweet, smart, little girl's hand and we went around the house. I pointed to EVERYTHING and said: you don't write on the walls, you don't write on the floors, you don't write on the carpet, you don't write on the furniture, [downstairs we went...still hand in hand] you don't write on the dryer, you don't write on the washer...we covered the house with EVERY possible place I could see on which she would want to write. Her little feet were flying to keep up with me. When Steve came home, I told him that Jane understood about the proper place to write NOW! Paper ONLY!

A couple of days later, it was Sunday and Steve and I were in the living room. Jane came in to announce...Daddy, I made you a picture! Both Steve and I looked at each other...I said...don't worry it's on a paper... To Jane we said, show us your picture. There in the kitchen (it really is the room where she did her best work) Jane had taken a pen and drawn a picture for her dad inside his sports coat. (She did a great job, she had covered one side with scribbling.)

What did I do? Laughed. I looked at Steve and said...it's my fault. His look was anything but understanding at my response...it was HIS coat... I explained that it was my fault because...I didn't tell her not to draw on his sports coat. That really was the last thing that she wrote on other than paper after that.

I realized when reading Leviticus that the reason those 50 some verses exist is because the Israelites had DONE all of those things and God was taking them around the house and giving them instruction. We really aren't much different now. There is always a loophole. There will always be the shade of gray. We will always look for a way to change it up and do things that we are not supposed to do. And what happens when we realize what we have done (or gotten caught doing something wrong, what do we receive from our heavenly Father? Grace. Amazing grace. I am so thankful today for a Heavenly Father who gives us the rules and forgives us when we break them. And then covers us with His Grace.

[NOTE: After reading this, I know my girls. Betsy will again think and declare that she was the perfect child. I only need to remind her of my first "quilting" project. I quilted a phone book cover. I had just put it on, and Betsy doodled 2 eyes, a nose and a mouth in ink while she was talking on the phone. And she wasn't 2. And mama wasn't happy."]

And without my children, I would have wondered why God needed 50 some verses to deal with forbidden sexual practices.

Realization...confession...Grace...Amazing Grace

REALIZATION:

Sunday morning: When I was getting ready for the usher/greeter team that I co-lead, I realized that for the last several weeks, I was choosing the opening scripture on Sunday morning instead of taking it from a scripture that had encouraged me during my quiet time...I didn't have to wonder why...I knew...I had not had a quiet time for a long time.

I then realized that throughout this past week, God had whispered to me to come His Word. He created a longing to draw me near to Him. I knew that He was calling but I did NOT respond to His gentle nudge. I ignored the Creator of the Universe.

Instead of responding, what did I fill my time with? Oh very important things! Let's see... I read 2 other books. I sewed. I went to the gym a few times. I sat. Yep, I just sat. I directed my thoughts to my life. Centered directly on ME!

CONFESSION:

As I was sitting there yesterday the realization washed over me of what I had done and how I had treated my Savior, I humbly bowed and asked Him to forgive me. Forgive me for being so self-directed. Forgive me for wasting the time He had given me. But most of all, forgive me for not responding to Him.

God reminded me of a man that He called "a man after God's own heart." A man who had succumbed to temptation, committed adultery, and instigated the death of this married woman's husband; yet he was called "a man after God's own heart." God reminded me of David. I went to Psalm 51 which was written as a confession when David recognized his need for God's grace. It begins:

Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me from my guilt. Purify me from my sin....Against you and you alone have I sinned...

GRACE:

Grace...that is what I received. If someone had ignored me and refused to respond to my calls, I have to say that I would have been really ticked. I would have complained. What I received from God for ignoring Him was forgiveness and grace.

But you desire honesty from the heart, so you can teach me to be wise in my inmost being. Purify me from my sins and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow...Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me...

Amazing Grace:
I think that is what I find so attractive about the God that I love. He can take what is unlovely and unworthy and clean it up and declare that person: A man after God's own heart. David was a man after God's own heart...Perfection? No, that wasn't David. Honest? Yep! David was honest with God.

Last night I prayed as I closed my eyes...Father wake me so we can have time together. Today, at 5:30 am He gently moved me from my bed to come before Him. I had no lightening bolts or great insights. I didn't have a vision or hear Him speak audibly. I really didn't read anything that was earth shattering in His Word (I am in Leviticus trying to read through the Bible...something I have never done). What I felt was a peace and a joy of being obedient. Oh, how I wish that this would be the turning point for me. That I would never again push Him away or disappoint Him. I will. I know it and so does He. But what I also know...when I come to him with a broken and contrite spirit, He will give me GRACE. Amazing Grace!